My parents wrote to me the other day, inviting me to live in Estonia in the apartment next door, subsidized until I am on my own two feet over there. This makes the whole decisionmaking process much harder- it's far easier to say no to Ohio than it is to a giant wintery wonderland that for all the world looks like something out of Lord of the Rings, has excellent beer, is full of wild blonde Amazons. What'll it be then, eh?

Do I finally commit to a place, stick it out here, stay poor? Or do I chance it overseas, try to make a new(er) life for myself perilously close to the 'rents, and stay poor? It's keeping me up at night, this decision, gentles. Everything I do here I find myself wondering if it'll be the last time, if I'm *willing* to let it be the last time. And I can't say that I have an answer. I might well end up flipping a coin. Worst of all, everyone I've talked to is treating the matter like the choice is crystal-clear, even though they're evenly divided...

A big part of me thinks I shouldn't take my parents up on any offer such as this, I'm twenty-two, almost twenty-three, and if I'm not independent by now, when will I be? And another part slaps the first part upside the head and says, it's Europe, you idiot. Many people would do many nefarious and illegal things for an opportunity such as this. The last thing I want to do is be sitting on my thumbs in five years with a shit job in a big town, thinking, "if only..." Nor do I want to end up jobless overseas thinking, "well, that was useless and expensive."

Give me a sign, Universe. I'm too young and stupid for it to be obvious as it stands.

[ed: I promise... no more of these. And incidentally, if anyone has trouble with the new layout, please let me know.]