Hate moving? Hate apartment hunting? Still, I wouldn't recommend having your future roommate do all the work. I have put much of the decisionmaking regarding my new apartment in New York in someone else's hands, and while that person is an old and dear friend I can't help but be a little bit frustrated that I can't check places out for myself.

OK, so it makes me want to tear my hair out or cover myself with Sterno jelly and set it on fire.

But anyway, we've found a couple possibilities. One of them is a tiny two-bedroom in Brooklyn that has a washer/dryer, dishwasher, garden (shared, but whatever); it's on the ground floor so my wheelchair-bound cousin would be able to visit; but best of all IT HAS A FUCKING JACUZZI BATH. I read that part and pretty much started mulling over which organs to sell for the security deposit if necessary.

And then there's the place with the two rock climbing walls. A little more affordable, except that you have to buy a whole bunch of the furniture. And yes, I said two rock climbing walls. My roommate is a climbing fanatic, so I think I know which side of the Tiny-with-jacuzzi vs. Matterhorn-in-livingroom debate he's going to come down on.

Assuming both aren't taken by the time of this writing.

Those are my two favorites so far, but there's also this one in Sunset Park, the neighborhood just south of the one I actually want to live in. While a little more remote, don't those bay windows just make you want to sunbathe?

I was sorta hoping for stained glass windows, a bath with feet, parquet floors, an elevator, within a block of a subway stop and a park. Because people, I have had it up to here with mobile homes and their equivalents.

We shall soon see. Or at least my future roommate will. For now.